


Grocery Asshole

by Ghara2



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Bill's an asshole lmao, Dipper and Mabel are grocery shopping, Gen, I wouldn't exactly call this BillDip but kinda???, M/M, they're too short for the top shelf, this fic's based on something from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 10:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5581753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghara2/pseuds/Ghara2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper and Mabel are grocery shopping and the last item on the list is found on the top shelf. Neither of them can reach it so they ask for help from a guy who's apparently an asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grocery Asshole

Dipper and Mabel were walking through the aisles, looking for the items on the list Grunkle Stan gave them. Mabel wasn't exactly riding _in_ the cart, but she would push it away from her every once in a while and hop on, holding the handle while her feet were on the bottom tray while going 'Woooo!'.

So far, they've gotten almost everything, really, but there was one item left on the list.

"Hey Mabel, any idea where Grunkle Stan's favorite cereal is?" Dipper asked, trying to find the correct aisle as they went through the grocery.

"Nope! Oh wait, I can see the sign with 'Cereals' on it, let's try looking there!" Mabel replied, increasing the cart's speed and rushing past her brother.

"Wait, Mabel!"

The brunet caught up with his twin, who thankfully didn't bump into anything on the way. Mabel hopped off and started to push the cart like other people usually would. Dipper helped her looked through the shelves, but he couldn't find what they were looking for.

"Uck, I can't see it anywhere...is he even sure it's even sold here?"

"Oh quit whining, bro-bro. Look, I found it! It's waaay up there!" Mabel pointed to the very top shelf, and there it was. "Heh, bet you can't reach that, huh?" she teased, her lips curling up into a smug smile. Her twin pouted and blushed as he crossed his arms and turned away.

"Shut up, you're only taller by one millimeter...!"

"Pff, don't get... _short_ -tempered, Dipdop!" The brunette narrowed her eyes and laughed at her own pun.

"Just get the cereal!!!"

"Yeah uh...about that..." Mabel tried to jump up several times with her arm outstretched, but not even she could grab the cereal. Dipper was somewhat relieved that she couldn't reach it despite being taller than him, but he also got worried about how they were going to get it. Sure, they could ask an employee to get it for them, but it's a pain to have to walk around and search for one.

"I kinda can't reach it either."

"What?! H-How are we supposed to get it then?!"

As if on cue, a man who was clearly much taller than them entered the aisle with a cart of his own. He was tan and was probably taller than the twins by about two inches or so. He had fluffy, golden hair and a slender figure. Dipper and Mabel looked at his direction, then at each other.

"Let's ask him," Mabel suggested.

"I-I don't know, Mabel--"

"Oh come on Dipper, do you really want to look all over the place for some personnel or whatever? This is our chance! And also, he's kinda cute!"

"You just want to flirt with him, don't you?" Dipper sighed, though it was full of endearment rather than displeasure. He was used to this since she did it with practically every guy she saw, after all.

"Of cour--" Mabel silently gasped and nudged her brother on the shoulder a few times as she looked up. The brunet winced at the pain and covered the area with his hand, then looked where his sister was. The tall man reached for the cereal they needed and took it with ease. He pulled back his arm with the box in hand, and paused for a while, standing in front of Dipper.

"Oh, thank y---" Dipper was about to thank him...

... _until he put the box into his own fucking cart._

His eyes widened as he watched the man toss the cereal into his own cart and walk away as he pushed it. He just stared at him in disbelief, frozen still. He did not see that coming at all. He thought he was going to help him since they _clearly_ needed his help but he didn't.

"What the fuck."

Once the man was at a safe distance from the twins, he smirked and chuckled under his breath. He loved those faces he gave him. He always enjoyed messing with those two, it was really fun.

"Mabel did that just happen? The fuck was that?!" the brunet whispered, though it was said like he was shouting in a soft voice.

"I...have no idea. Let's just ask him this time!"

"Right, like I'd ever ask for help from an asshole like him."

"Come on Dipper, let's just get this over with! Candy and Grenda are coming over later and I need to make preparations!"

"No wa--"

"Pleeeaaaase bro-bro?" Mabel pleaded with her sweet voice and looked at her twin brother with puppy eyes. Dipper sighed and reluctantly agreed. He couldn't resist that face; it worked on him every time, no matter what. Heck, if she asked him to hide a dead body for her he'd do it in a heartbeat.

"Yay! Thank you, thank you!" she squealed, hugging him tightly and lifting him a bit off the ground.

"O-okay, just put me down!" His sister carefully set him back on the floor and held the cart. Dipper took a deep breath and sighed heavily, then ran to the tall man, who thankfully wasn't that far from them yet. He lightly tugged on the back of his sweater vest and looked at the ground.

"Hey, uh...excuse me...?" he said, not really knowing what to say. If anything, Mabel should be doing this; he wasn't very good at socializing.

"Hmm?" the man turned around, humming in a singsong tone. He looked at the brunet below him with a smirk still on his face. Dipper was slightly intimidated seeing him up close, but he looked back at him anyway. "C-could you get that cereal for us too? I--uh...m-my sister and I can't reach it..." he asked, awkwardly fiddling with his cap.

"Sure, _short_ stuff!" he teased, patting the brunet as he walked past him. Dipper couldn't help but growl under his breath and glare at the man from behind. _What an ass._

The man chuckled and took another box with ease, then handed it over to the Pine Tree.

"Here you go, kid!" he said, grinning. " _Thanks..._ " Dipper hissed, though he tried his best not to. He carefully took the box from his hand and walked past him. He wanted to shove him, but he thought better. The brunet dropped the cereal into the cart then turned back to the tall man.

"So...uh...thanks again. Maybe we'll see you around..." he said, looking at the floor. "Thank you, tall and handsome man!" Mabel added, pushing the cart again. "No problem!" the man replied, staying where he was. The twins walked away, heading for the counter. The tall man left his cart behind and silently followed them. Smirking, he placed his hand on the brunet's shoulder and leaned into his ear and whispered something that he didn't expect.

"See you around, _Pine Tree..._ "

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this shitpost XDDD I swear Bill would do this


End file.
